Falling Out of Love's Window

Falling Out of Love's Window

Mother Goose was just pushed out of Jakerwalsh's window!

Jakerwalsh Slum Lord Hermit

Mother Goose

Jakerwalsh a local Video Rental

Slumm Lord Hermit has been crazy and in denial about most things in his life including his affections for Mother Goose. Last night he decreased MG to the likes of a windshield wiper of chaos, knowing that she has been nothing but an angel to him. Reading him the classics, sharing butter crumpets and giving him hand knitted bonnets of flaxseed water vomit.

MG told Jakerwalsh that he in fact, needs to open up, and read a rhyme or two. That he needs to let go and be comfortable with life.

Jakerwalsh, however did not appreciate this advice, he saw it as filth and slime. So he took MG's advice and said to her "Listen you immature weasle womper nugget, we cant butter each others crumpets anymore, theres not enough butter for the both of us. Besides that, I refuse to let go of the dirty rotten dish cloths I've been holding onto 4 too many simmy years." "So, grow up and get out!!!" Just then Jakerwalsh opened the window and threw MG out!

Poor Mother Goose, all she ever did was read stories to lonely children and didnt ask for much, just a little butter for her crumpets. Jakerwalsh was not amused, in fact he had never uttered one rough word to Mother Goose but last night he was actually mean to her!

Mother Goose, we can happily report survived the window toss. She is in the care of Humpty Dumpty, Little Miss Muffet, and Imogen Heap.

When asked why he did it, all Jakerwalsh replied was, "Im afraid of her, she brought me dairy, which I am trying to stay away from, Im old and I dont want to grow! So I threw her away."

-The Simmy Sam post

THIS JUST IN:

AN UPDATE ON JAKERWALSH'S WHEREABOUTS

Jakerwalsh Slum Lord Hermit was last seen outside of the local Rite Aid

It seems he'd passed out or was left there after the Long Beach Pride

weekend. Sources say that his high heel broke causing him distress which

ultimately resulted in him being cast off, and left aside. That is all for now~

-The Simmy Sam post